My Excuse for Not doing what I should have done is .....

It was the last day of the forum I was attending a few months ago. Totally excited with everything seeming possible for me I committed to doing things I didn't know how I would accomplish.
I walk down to my car and decide that I will not break any rules whilst driving, the next thing I know I just cut off one guy while driving and started giving reasons to the person sitting next to me, I felt my soul go weak and said to myself, "Is that all you're made of? A few moments ago you pledged something and not even seconds later you are disrespecting your word. Shame on you!".

I realized then that I had an amazing access to the universal library of reasoning. I had a reason for everything I could not accomplish in life.

1. I cannot get good grades 'because' I am not intelligent.
2. I cannot work 'because' I will not be able to concentrate on studies.
3. I cannot be in a relationship 'because' I think I'm not smart enough for a girl.
4. I cannot get in to a fight 'because' I think I'm not strong.
and this is an original,
5. I cannot cut my hair 'because' my family will disown me if I did so.

This man, I, suffers from this terrible state of mind every single moment. I am torn apart by my actions but still have a reason for being in my current state. I pose strong in front of the world 'because' they expect me to be bubbly, funny and this guy who is strong through thick and thin.

Today, I'm writing this blog 'because' I feel I need to justify myself being so incompetent.

People think of me as they know me, Ha! How many people knew I felt this way?